Can you give AIDS cancer?

—Derek (via gayshit88)

I’ve never heard anyone going down to the seaside sort of doing this little activity, using crabs as fucking post-it notes

(Source: katybacon)

I’m Derek Noakes. I work here at Broad Hill Nursing Home for the elderly. I love it here, it’s brilliant. All my favourite people are here~

Derek: Kev’s always talking about his penis and testicles. And Dougie doesn’t even want his, do you?

Dougie: I’d get rid of it tomorrow.